Relationships

[Spetsnaz.Invidika]

Hi, whoever you are!

Welcome back to da boards.

Your not da only guy, Silver's a dude too. Don't worry you're not alone.

Aren't internet relationships so DUMB? Internet dating is kinda in the dumb area too. I think if you need a match-maker, get a HUMAN one at least. Best friends are good at match making. On serveral occasions they have tried to get ME wid some random (not really) boy. Lolz!

-Dinotor

My dear, do you have something against 'th's? Did they kill your family when you were a child or something?

I'm here to talk to if you feel the need to let these suppressed feelings of vengeful hatred towards dental fricatives out in some way.

(Edit) Dear god, NURANN HELP ME! I got your bloody new-page curse again!

[Nurann]

Only if you promise to be nice to the newer members... I thought we cleared that curse eons ago anyways? Whatever... *waves her wand and makes the new-page curse vanish*

I know what you guys mean by creepy stalkers... I too had one of those guys that just because I was nice to him, he thought I was in love with him. That one ended up involving police >.>....

VARYN!!! Omg, you're engaged?? That's awsome! I'm glad to hear things are going much better for you now

This sounds kind of lame, but I really believe that I'm supposed to wait for someone. I don't even know how to explain the feeling, other than feeling like my spark is split in two and that the other half is Primus-knows-where. *slinks away, slightly embarassed*

[Spetsnaz.Invidika]

But... But... Newcomers taste so good. :< Can't I have just little bites?

Back on topic, I tried a temporary interweb relationship once, mostly just because it was with someone who was actually at the college I was planning to attend. Ultimately it didn't work out, but was worth a try. Fun while it lasted.

So the moral is I guess that interweb relationships tend to be too difficult to keep up.

[Rakshash]

Wow...can't believe I never read this thread properly before. Some ouchies and some happily-ever-afters. Aint that life.

Me, I'm fairly boring. I do value the "courtship concept" over dating (never phrased it like that myself but it sounds good) and I believe its the better and long lasting one. Unfortunately most guys I know have other ideas! Dumb comments and creepy staring is supposed to make me fall head over heels? They wish. *snort* Somedays I don't think anybody has any values anymore.

*sigh* Maybe someday...

May everything work out for the best for everyone, whether they choose someone or stay single. *passes drinks all around*

[Tor]

Bah!

S.I. (if I may call u dat) I just don't use 'th' cuz I don't wanna. Nobody thought Rattrap's family died. But if you REALLY have a problem..... I could use 'th' when I talk to u. Just for you.

Rakshash, I know. Varyn's story is like a fairy tale! I want dat to happen to moi!

Merry Almost Christmas!
-Dinotor

[SilverfromOZ]

#takes a double Jim Beam and coke from Rakshash# Thanks, I didn't know you knew my favourite beverage Cheers to the courtship concept #raises glass# as a natural romantic at heart this approach to relationships definitely appeals.

#hugs Nurann# Aww. There's no need to feel embarrassed about your viewpoint at all. As a matter of fact, I firmly believe that a great deal of the emotional turmoil, that is present in our society, would be less of an impact if more people were patient and less impulsive to "jump in the sack" whilst expressing the same disposable mentality we use for most other things. The whole thing cheapens the very concept of love and turns the focus on shallower aspects, when really it SHOULD be about two soulmates expressing (in the most intimate ways possible) their love and appreciation for each other. Thats not just a physical thing either, its a spiritual, emotional and physical journey which people should really look at in the right way. If, say in the case of Varyn, there is a firm connection where both people feel like they have all the aspects that they need from the other, then that is a beautiful thing and is really what we are all searching for. Soulmates, husbands, wives, partners and so on are all representations of the same thing. A person that you can share life's journey with. As mentioned previously, Varyn has located that and I am happy for her.

Hey Spets! BOY POWER!! #holds up hands in air... then feels silly and stops# Hmmm... doesn't really work on our side does it? Oh well

Tor, I wouldn't rule anything out these days. We all may scoff or sneer at relationships born from the internet, however if you look at the previous points I have made, it doesn't really matter where you meet that person, if you're truly in love or have found your soul mate, you'd be willing to move across the golbe just to be with that person. Unfortunately, there is the stigma of the seedy 40yo fat men sitting in their parent's basement masquerading as 18yo schoolgirls which is the first thought that springs to mind at the mention of internet relationship (search your feelings, you know this to be true). However, I have had the pleasure of meeting with a number of the beautiful, lovely young women and whacky yet classy gentlemen who are on this forum and there's a great vibe from all of them. Some have even grown closer and have allowed me to confide and rant with and I eagerly look forward to seeing them all again. I understand that internet friendships and dating are two very different things, however I would like to think that if I had the burning soulfire in my heart, telling me that this person was "the one" I would do everything in my power to make it work.

[Baron Fel]

*applauds Silver*

As a matter of fact my girlfriend of...let's see 6 years, and 2 months and 17 days, I met on a message board on the internet. Currently spending the Holidays at her house here in Portland before returning to Uni. We used to have a nice little house together even but when I started going back to school she had to move back in with her folks

That said, courtships are awesome, and the net is actually kind of fun in that regard. As you get to talk to the person in a somewhat 'free' environment. It increases fraud potential but it also lets a person not worry about trappings and the woiks. I'm a romantic but a very, very poor one(money wise) and so it would and still is hard for me to do things like a horse and buggy ride, or expensive candlelit dinners. The net let me be romantic on the cheap, but also be my nerdy, silly, and quite insane self. (In 04 she attended the 10th Anni Botcon in passadena with me, and got to smile as I ran around the dealer room of my first botcon buying toys like a fiend, at least I was nice enough not to sit and wait in the Peter Cullen line for 3 hours, but she said she really enjoyed watching me buzz around happily and she even helped me pick out a few toys.)



One last thing, Nurann, that's not silly at all, I didn't date anyone before her ever, and we met when I was almost 19. Sometimes, you just are waiting for the right person, in fact it's not a bad way to go about it.


*Oh and I'm a boy as well and I know just what to do for this:

Guy Power! *holds out his fist and taps it with Silver's out-stretched hand* Fist-tap FTW

[Jagna]

*Jumps in having not been in for a long while*

I have mixed feelings about Netships. If that's not what they're called, I'm going to start now. Hah. You here all sorts of stories of people getting into trouble when they plan to meet their 'net lovers' or whatever, but as Silver said, like this board, some have met and become friends. Let's just say it's hard to tell. You never know who you're talking to. For example, wasn't there this Australian couple (no jabs intended, please don't munch me) who met online...and turned out to be estranged father and daughter? Eeeeeugh. It definitely happened, but I'm a bit shaky on the exact details.

ANYWAY. Moving swiftly on....

When you guys mention courtships, I'm assuming you mean being a gentleman? If so, I'm lucky in that sense. My boyfriend refuses to walk through a door before me.

And Baron, trust me when I say money ain't no issue...to most girls....I think....I only speak as one, personally Because for Christmas, which my bf doesn't celebrate, he gave me a picture frame with pictures fro our first date. So, even though I am not one, I will Here Here to Silver and his Boy Power! (Please forgive me, it's very early in the morning)

*Just read what Nurann said* I'm 18, and I'm in my first relationship, too. Sure, I'm in a country that 92.31% filled with *bleeps*, but sometimes you gotta go for it. Even though he refuses to admit it, I asked my boyfriend out...then things went on from there. And I'd only known him a week or two. (Granted, we used to go to the same school in Juniors, but we hardly knew each other >,>)

So wait, yes, that it good. In fact, I think it's better. Even though I didn't wait intentionally, I'm doing good right now

[Razorclaw]

I agree with Janga:Netships are mixed.

I've met some really great people online (Like almost everyone on this Forum),and some really nasty people too. I don't get too wrapped up in romantic Internet relationships much anymore,as all of mine have ended in tragety.

And then theirs the fact that i'm not exactly "attractive". For one thing,my avatars always reflect what I like. So sometimes,they look a little werid. This causes people to avoid me. Second,I'm a little rouge. I speak my mind,and defend other people. This too can cause others to avoid me. Also,my interest. I admit that I'm not exactly your "average" femme. Plus,my personality is a lot like Transformers Animated Blitzwing. <.<

On the other end of the spectrum,some people actualy put up with my weirdness long enough to be my friend. An example would be my friends here,especialy Tor,as we get along almost perfectly. I have had perhaps three guys who have been kind enough to do so. The first one dumped me for a different girl. The second one was cheating on his relationship with another girl,by being with me,so I dumped him. The third just stopped caring,and moved on to a different "more normal" girl.

So,Internet relationships can be mixed. I know at least three couples who met online,got together in real life,dated,fell in love,married,and are as happy as ever today. I'm not saying that you will find your dream boy/girl if you go online,but in my oppinion,there's nothing wrong with Internet dating,as long as you're careful. Plus,Internet dating takes away some of the pressures of physical dating.

[Tor]

Ok,

I must correct myself. Regularly I DO sneer at netships (I like da name Jag) [more specifically matching sites] but I have my reasons. Unless you (and the other person) have a webcam, you have a very limited view of the person, so your relationship is somewhat limited. You can't see there face, expression and you cant hear the tone of voice. Besides that there are.... *shudders, looking shiftly about* predators. Most matching sites have you out all your information, including your fears and interests, making it easy for predators to track u and get at you. So generally I disregard netships [well actually matching sites].

However, if you DO know the person on the other side of the conversation, then more power to ya.

I kinda hope that clears it up. I dont wanna be considered insensitive, I'm just paranoid bout that kinda thing.

-Dinotor

[Joshin Yasha]

All things considered, I'm currently in a Xyston/Misery relationship. You'd have to have read my fics or at least know of the characters to understand. o_O

Btw, varyn, I LOVE your avatar

[Lady Venom]

Just passing through, yes..I still do come here, as in often as it usually is.

I'm happily in a relationship too, and truth be told, our anniversary is coming up in a few days actually. Together for about four years, married for two.

High School friend who I didn't really think would develop into such, but when I needed help, she was there...she got me through a lot of rough patches in my life, and now we're stronger than ever, and it's so nice to have someone there to go through life with me.

So, yea ^.^

[varyn]

Nurann, you are awesome *hugs you* I don't think your 'waiting' feeling is silly at all. I felt the same way for much of my life, as if I was waiting for my 'other half' or just somebody that actually 'got' me, and I thought that was plenty silly, until it went and came true.

Of course I made a right blitz of other interpersonal mistakes before and during the whole process *laughs at self* Go meee!

And to those who say my story sounds like a fairytale... omg... if you guys could see what a dork I am in RL, you would know that I could never be in one of those. Like, imagine if Cinderella was ascending the grand staircase to greet her prince for the first time, and then she somehow managed to fall UP the stairs, contrary to all applicable laws of physics-- THAT'S ME.

Joshin-- I love my avatar too XD It's smarter than me.

Any more points of view I have on relationships/'netships' have already been more eloquently put by Silver, I think. So I can be lazy and stop here XD

[Tor]

Sooo....

When you meet the 'One' does it somewhere inside you click? Do you suddenly just have a sense that 'Is this him? Is this my soulmate?'

Another thing gnawing on the edge of my mind, is there a real difference between the One, soulmate, and lover. Lover is kinda just for... *embarrassed cough* adult stuff but no real connection? Then is soulmate someone who fits your personality kinda like 'do like this? OMG me TOO!' and would that make the One, the ultimate find, the one even if you disagree, you love so much you'd go into fixed meloncoly with out?

I just want to see your opinions on this.

dt

[Joshin Yasha]

"The One" I would say is the person you find who completely, utterly, and unquestioningly fills your vision, thoughts, and feelings to where you can't see anyone other than that person; or it's Jet Lee. There's no sexual attraction when you see this person, it's just the overwhelming and intoxicating sense of being "completed" by this other person. The sexual attraction comes afterward.

A soulmate is just another person who completes your soul, but there's nothing attractive about them other than the fact that they are like an extension of yourself. You'd be friends too much to ever date.

A lover is, well, a person you can share sexual experiences without the fear of commitment, but is more than often the one who you THINK you want to end up with, and sometimes do. Does it work out? Maybe, sometimes, but not all the time.